Toilet Training for Your Toddler

Let’s begin by removing some misconceptions related to toilet training. Many parents seem to consider potty training as a criterion to judge their child’s brightness and their own smartness. Nothing can be farther than the truth. If you try to potty train your child before he/she is ready for it, you will be a nervous wreck, and you will traumatize your child.

So, the first thing is to wait for your child to be ready for toilet training before you begin to do so. It will make the whole process much easier, happier, and less stressful. It really doesn’t matter that your little one is trained three months later than your neighbor’s child.

Every child is different, and that’s the beauty. Learn to cherish it. Most toddlers are not genuinely toilet trained before the age of two or three years though there are exceptions that may be toilet trained at 20 months. Moreover, as a rule, boys take longer to be potty trained than girls. Almost all children are toilet trained by the age of 4, though bedwetting continues till the age of 5 in about 10% kids. There is no need to be in haste. If you do that, you might have to face problems, such as soiling, that can last much longer.

Here are some tips to prepare your child for the toilet training and how to know when he or she is ready to start.

1. Before you start with potty training, it is important for your child to be familiar with the body parts, their functions, and the names you use as a family. Every family has its own names. So, it really doesn't matter what names you give as long as everyone knows what they mean.

2. Despite concerns shown against it, I think it is a good idea to let your child witness you or other family member, preferably of the same sex, using the toilet. If you do it naturally, your child will get the idea that it is the natural thing to do. Contrary to some misconceptions, it will not traumatize your child. Talk about it as a grown-up thing to do. This will prepare your child for using a potty to begin with and then the big toilet. It instills a sense of anticipation since all toddlers want to do the things that grown-ups do. You can allow your child to flush the toilet to get used to the whole process.

3. As the time approaches for starting the toilet training, get the potty out and leave it in a visible place. Make sure she knows what it is, and what it is for but, again, talk in terms of "one day you will be able to use this".

Look for the signs of approaching readiness:

1. In order to help your child tell you when he is wet or dirty, you can point at the potty immediately after he urinated or had a bowel movement. And, in order to reinforce the idea of cleanliness and dryness, make sure you change the diaper as soon as possible, regardless of whether you spot it, or he tells you. Also, praise your child profusely when he comes and tells you that he needs a diaper change.

2. Can she physically manage the potty? That is, can she pull off her own diaper (the elasticated pull-ons are great for this), can she sit on the potty without falling off? Can she walk/run quickly to the bathroom? At the beginning children don't get a lot of warning so problems with getting to the bathroom and getting clothes off may lead to more accidents and more frustration. Maybe better to wait another month or two.

3. See if your child can follow simple directions like taking a piece of tissue and throwing it into the toilet. If not, or if he refuses to do so, then you need to address that problem first.

4. Look out for signs of developing bowel and bladder control, such as clear patterns of bowel movements. If your child’s stools are firm and well formed, and he is able to stay dry for several hours at a time, he is ready for toilet training because he will be able to control himself long enough to get to the bathroom. However, don’t let the child strain to withhold; that can cause more serious problems. If your child experiences pain on passing a motion, you may have to change the diet to make the stool softer and easier to pass.

5. As part of the preparation for toilet training, remove all negative notions about potty from your child’s mind. Some children have fears about flushing water or falling into the potty. You need to address these first. Your child should be looking forward to the day he can use a toilet like a grown up.

These are the signs to look for in order to start toilet training. Be positive. And reward your child for success but don’t punish for failures.

Best of luck.

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Dr. Noel Swanson offers free expert parenting advice on his website - you will also find a free chapter to his highly acclaimed book, the GOOD CHILD Guide. Why not discuss parenting issues with other parents on a parenting forum?
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