What Can You Do When Your Child Steals?

There are a lot of reasons kids steal. Some kids steal for comfort, to impress a group of friends, get retaliate against their parents, or sometimes to simply get the things they want.

Sometimes, the excitement generated by stealing is motivation enough. As many as one in four kids have stolen something - although most will never do it again.

They also must learn the value of honesty. If you are trying to help your child or someone else's, it's a good idea to talk about ordinary things like school or television. You can work in your points about the positive traits of honesty and integrity. Using this technique, you can also bring them subtly around to sharing your family's moral code.

The best way to prevent stealing from happening is to find another way to meet their needs. Once their needs are met, they won't have to continue stealing.

Then watch your children. Not to catch them out, but to catch them being good. Reward and praise the little acts of honesty that you see. All of this promotes a culture of honesty in the home.

If you do catch them stealing, stay calm. Losing your temper will not help, and may even act as a reward for them. Secondly, do not tempt them to lie their way out of it.

Encourage your child to do the right thing. This means putting it right. Not just paying back what was stolen, but also paying compensation for the inconvenience and disrespect caused by the theft. Ideally, the child should do this himself, probably with your support. Here are some suggestions:

Give the stolen goods back to the owner, with the additional compensation and a heartfelt apology.

If taken from a stranger, confiscate the goods (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine.

Bring the item back to the manager of the shop, school child, or teacher, along with some compensation and an apology.

If taken from a stranger, remove the items (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine or loss of privileges.

If the item is no longer in the child's possession and the money has been spent, ask the child to sell some of their own favorite items (even to you) to pay for them and the fine. Make sure what is sold is gone for good.

Avoid a long grounding sentence. Jail does not reform hardened criminals, and grounding will probably not reform your own little angel.

As we said, taking the stolen property back is the first opportunity to do the right thing. If your child refuses, you then have no option but to impose an even stiffer penalty. The most important message to convey is that doing the honest thing, even after the event, is still the best policy.

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Dr. Noel Swanson, Consultant Child Psychiatrist and author of The GOOD CHILD Guide, specializes in children's behavioural difficulties and writes a free newsletter for parents. He can be contacted through his website: www.good-child-guide.com. This article is copyright. You are encouraged, however, to freely copy it provided this signature block is included without modification (other than the addition of your own affiliate link)

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Need more parenting help for your kids? Get a hold of Dr. Noel Swanson's parenting newsletter. It's free and highly recommended. His book, The GOOD CHILD Guide, is also very highly recommended. You can get it from his website here: www.good-child-guide.com/
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